Complacency

I find myself in this place a lot - the place where I look about like this:

Okay, that's a bit unfair - horrible camera angle. More like this:

But then I find myself coming up with really unique camera poses so that I look like this:

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In other words - I look a little chunky, but it's nothing so noticeable that I can't hide it by taking some special-angled pictures. It's not so bad, right? RIGHT?

So then I step on the scale and see this:

So yeah - I need to make some changes. Like...those 6 double-chocolate chip pecan cookies from earlier today. It's not that I'm super naughty all day long - I eat a healthy, 250-300 calorie breakfast with protein, a small handful of almonds for a mid-morning snack, keep up on my water intake, stay away from artificial sweeteners, and try to eat a balanced meal for supper. It's just those 6 cookies, and maybe the half-to-3/4 can of pop. Oh, and the 4oz colby jack cheese. It's the little stuff.

And I know it, and I own it. I'm not going to try to deny that I'm not trying. I'm doing the exercise - LOVING Zumba, btw - and I'm starting every day "right", I just knowingly blow it throughout the day on stupid stuff that isn't that important.

So I'm not really sure what this is for me. I'd be lying if I said I really, truly felt the need for a change, because I'm really, truly happy with myself right now. Maybe it's just a joy in life or something, but I think it's dangerous.

I have no delusions about trying to fit into a bikini, nor do I have a desire to. I need to drop 20lbs, and I know I can, I just don't want to.

I'm just in a state of complacency right now.